i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
