i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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