is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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