Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
