So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
