hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
