So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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