i think i have two assholes
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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