How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I think I have vodka in my lungs
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
