It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Randomize
