Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
This is the high leading the old right now
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I want to fling myself into the sun
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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