I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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