Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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