He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
