So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
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Blood and glitter go together right?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
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I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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