It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
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I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
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Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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