did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
