Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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