I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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