Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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