I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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