Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize