I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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