Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
