You made me cry and you don't even care
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Randomize
