no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
