No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
