so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize