there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
