The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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