Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize