guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
