Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
