Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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