OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
