I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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