we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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