she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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