For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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