After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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