well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
