with your own penis?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
