I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
