yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
