I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
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Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
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She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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