She went from zero to smokin in five shots
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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