East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
