you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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