we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
