I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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