if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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