My hand turned me down
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
