Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
