Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
