PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
