I wish I only lived at night.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
they're like a gay fantastic four
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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