I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
