We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
