Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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