im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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