Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
When are your genitals available?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
